Blistering barnacles!

Uggh! Please excuse my language, but its not everyday that I get to use adjectives for conveying my emotions. My emoticons do a beautiful job at that, thank you very much. In fact, it feels quite unnatural to me to form complete sentences with correct grammar. And lets not forget the language-no-bar audibles.

In fact, I cant remember the last time I actually wrote something on a piece of paper. Yes that thin piece of writing material made out of wood from a desolate tree somewhere in Africa. I used to own a black slate and a chalk once. Ancient, I know!

Anyways, the reason for my sudden outburst of adjectives is that, what have we done! Created a generation of kewl ya, in da, bfns? They say its always difficult to communicate between generations. But this is outrageous! Its one thing not to understand the rationale behind something, another to not understand the language itself.

Therefore I have a petition for all the m-w and oxford folks. Please publish a pocket sized translation book for abbreviations, sms terminology and chat dialect. Also, mail me a free copy since I was the one to come up with this million dollar idea!

And since I am on the ‘winning idea’ streak, heres one more! How about I do not make a wish on any more mails I get, that tell me to make a wish and then forward the mail to umpteen people or else my wish will not come true. Since when did mails become angels, granting your wishes and just asking for your endless time in return?

And there are avenging angels too, which say if you delete the mail, something really BAD will happen to you. What if I decide to be bad myself, and delete that mail, would I have to spend the rest of my life awaiting fretfully the most certain tragedy? I rather believe in voodoo!

Heres what I do when I receive such mails, its simple and believe me completely harmless. Shift-Delete!

And if the rest of the content is good enough to waste someone elses time, I simply edit out the “blistering barnacles” part, and dispatch off the rest on the information super highway.

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