Back to the future

Quite recently some scientists proclaimed with much regret that time travel to the past is not theoretically possible since the fourth dimensional time cannot be traversed in the backward direction. If that’s true, there go all my chances of being somebody in life! Somebody rich and famous, influential and adored, and having a ball of a time right this very moment!

Contrary to the new theory, if time travel to the past is possible, then we would chance to see a technologically advanced space-time continuum traveler from the future traveling back to our present. And we would most certainly detect the strangeness of that traveler, in his clothing, language or eating habits. So next time you meet someone weirdly creepy, don’t stare at him incessantly or mock him pointlessly, for he could zap you somewhere in the past or in the future if you start to get on his nerves, or for no reason at all! Unless of course, if you are flunking in math, random time travel might just be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Some other cult of scientists claim that time travel to the past is possible, but you will not be able to change a thing! It will be like watching a long movie about you. Boy, now wouldn’t that be boring!

And what’s the point going all the way back in time if I cannot tweak a few things here and there? There are, I might add, quite a number of things I would want to change!

Say for instance, the day when I placed a huge bet on ‘Speedo’ the racehorse. Boy, I would give anything to change that to ‘Sluggy’ the puny pony. Who would have thought that Sluggy had a few quick gallops up his sleeve, and that Speedo had short attention span disorder!

Another crucial event of my life I would have fiddled with is the day I decided to adopt morality as virtue! All those bribes rejected and favors declined have brought me nothing but threatening calls, 24-hour security and job switching from country to country! I would start the anti-morality drive right now, but my image is too tainted for anyone to believe me anyways!

I say that my best repose now is to time travel to the future. It would be lovely to meet and interact with like-minded people like myself, since that is such a rare commodity in the present. Plus, I would maybe get to hitch-hike with a space traveler too, explore exotic worlds filled with exotic matter and exotic people, much like Hawaii, and not have to go back to the future ever again! Back to my real future!


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