Passport to marriage

A zillion internet jokes are doing their daily rounds about the harsh realities of marriage. A majority of them usually address the manly-point-of-view, how men lose their invaluable ‘bachelor’ freedom, after being coaxed into a lifetime agreement of being bossed around, and how all roads to marriage end up in forfeiting half or more of their wealth.

Being fair and just, I would say it’s only a natural course set out for the supposedly intelligent species to ensure its existence.

A free independent frolicking man cannot suddenly be transformed into a loyal caring loving husband and by extension a similar traited father. For every fruitful reaction there is required a strong assertive action.

So if the desired reaction is replacing the free abandon of the male species with firm unswerving loyalty, the suitable action is the divorce law. Considering no pre-nuptial agreements have been signed, losing a chunk of wealth is more painful than being with a single woman. Since this might not work for all men, the private detective agencies are now known to be minting money, which usually is extorted from the man being spied upon.

Another desirable reaction is the loving caring nature of the male species, with a few tears sprinkled here and there to reflect their sensitive feminine side. My suggestion for this is woman-tears! Those diamond-like drops are known to work miracles; empires have been destroyed and battles have been lost all because of these deadly pearls. Onions and teardrop solutions have always come in handy. If the man is too rugged or just plain unromantic, try administering a legal dose of estrogen tablets, although that might sometimes result in losing future prospects of acquiring any fortune after the law suit that would follow.

And to mend the gross manly habits cultivated over time, the best solution is constant nagging. Its easier to change habits overnight than listen to the high pitched shrilly tones of the female voice range.

Well that said, the woman does give up a hell lot in return. Starting with her name, her very identity; that which she has been known for almost half of her life. Renounced! Abandoned! Lost in time! All in the name of the marriage. Followed by a change of address; transformation to a homemaker; and then permanent weight gain!

The path through marriage is far from simple, for both the man and the woman. In most cases, the woman sacrifices her passport in the burning pyre of marriage. The man is still unaware he is being transformed bit by bit, every day, into the perfect man his wife always dreamed of marrying!

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