“Everything is normal!” she said, “Everything is just fine! I have everything I need. I have a loving husband, three adorable kids, a loving family, a house, a car, and food on my plate, clothes in my closet, and friends to party with. I have more than most people could even dream of. I am absolutely fine!”
But her entire soul was screaming the contrary. Nothing was fine! How could it be? How could this be considered normal? Was this what they called life? This petty, minuscule existence, constrained by what others might think, limited by her own poor choices, strangled by the monotony of her dull, boring life?
When she was young and innocent; when the complexities of life were unknown to her, when the world seemed like a big place where anything could happen, where anything could be achieved; she felt she could have it all, happiness, peace, love!
But love was a fickle friend, a wisp of smoke in the storm of loneliness. It seemed to be there, but it hardly ever was. Love was not what happened in the movies, it was definitely not long lasting, and maybe it never existed in the first place. Her husband who once seemingly doted on her, stuck by her side like a dog in true love, was now more like a cat, who displayed no personal devotion to anyone, just comfortable to be in familiar surroundings. He was more like a stranger in the room, with no passion, no words that expressed any true emotion, just a few cursory questions like “Are you fine?”
Her children had grown up and grown apart. They had their own life to worry about. So the mother was cast aside as an item of possession that once was valuable, but now didn’t even qualify its own shelf space. Sometimes she felt she didn’t even exist, certainly not when she had something to say or an opinion to share. Her thoughts were now old and archaic, to be discarded or ignored.
She was ambitious as a young adult, learning new stuff, making new things from old, building, and creating, and exploring, living life one day at a time, giving each moment her fullest. She had adventurous dreams, she had stories of happy endings, she had pictures of purest love, and she had hope.
But now that had gone too. She had no ambition left, she had no dreams. She was just living her life, going from one day to the next till she reached the end. There was only emptiness. She felt she couldn’t do anything at all. She had given up!
Then one fine day, she said, “I am not fine!”
And that made all the difference.
Because only when she stopped accepting the lack of love, lack of respect, lack of ambition, and the lack of action on her part as something normal, she was able to spring into action, change her life with her actions and her thoughts, fill her life with hope, and kindness and love.
And so, if you ever feel depressed, hopeless, empty and unloved, scared and lost, just admit to yourself that “It’s not fine!” Life is not meant to be like this, life is so much more. Life is meant to be filled with excitement and joy, and emotions and hope. Find the strength to push yourself to do something, take action, explore, fail and try again, but never give up. Go outdoors and feel the wind! Change your life! Because it’s not fine to be inside the wrong dream! If you are not fine, just say it! And then change it!
Inspired by Mel Robbin’s Ted Talk : How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF